How are you?

is the most useless question.
There is a 95% chance that those who ask “How are you?” concern only about their business. Therefore, they ask
    • either just to ask something,
    • either to start telling you their business just after your answer,
    • or they are too sociable and got used to countless streams of informaion which affect them permanently. So, they just want you to be one of them.

You surely won't be able to do other things during and after conversations of this kind. Spending your time and energy on them is a waste of time and energy.

The question “how are you?” may vary from “what's up?” to “how is it going?”, etc. You can answer any of them with any text, a link to this page or nothing, because there is no point either in the question or the answer. That's just wasting time and energy.

However, 5% of your interlocutors are really interested in how are you—real friends, close relatives, those who really love you. Answer them, tell them about your life if you want. If you don't—remember: your business is your personal business.

Don't take any offense from those who ignore your question or answer it with a link to this page. This doesn't mean they don't appreciate you. This means their time is valuable for them and it shouldn't be spent on pointless converation. Just to answer you, they will have to remember what was happening some time ago, then word it and send to you. It will waste their time but won't benefit.

If you really wonder how your interlocutor is and you're not going to react with “Alright, then, as for me...”—explain it.

If you want to talk about something essential—do it right away. Essentials are “Let's make an article together,” or “Let's spend holidays together,” or, at the worst, “What is the way from Piccadilly Circus to Baker St? I'm lost”. “How are you?” is not an important matter, and “just to chat” is not as well.

And if you are just bored and looking for a person to chat with—look out of the window. There is always something interesting there.

Please, take care of someone else's time.



Share this page in advance to avoid hurts:

© Ivan Vetoshkin
Russian